The 8 Types of People You’ll Find in Every Tour Group

By Sophie Nicolas

If you don’t know who the alcoholic is of your group…then we’ve got news for you.

 Every trip with Stoke Travel is different and one of a kind. But you will always find the same people who can make your trip better, or make it…challenging. If you’ve ever been on a group tour, you have definitely met these people, or you’re one of them!

The Over Planner

This person doesn’t like to mess around when it comes to schedules. We’re talking colour coded planners, a bucket list for each destination and following the tour guide’s timeline to the minute. Consider this person the Hermione Granger of tour groups. Endearing, but intense. They only want to make the most out of their trip, so our advice would be to let them do it their way, don’t let them stress you out, and realise that everyone travels in different styles! Even if their style isn’t yours. We think it’s better to just agree with them to make them happy and then do your own thing.

The New Best Friend

There’s always that one person that you like more than the rest, you’re like-minded and make great beer pong partners. You do everything together, never get sick of each other and wonder where they have been all your life. Tour groups are about finding people from different backgrounds from all over the world and making friends for life. One minute you’re both drinking at The Dune Rats festival and the next minute they’ve disappeared and you realise you never got their Facebook details. Ok, so turns out you’ll never see them again after the trip finishes. But still, it’s a great memory.

The Cheap Ass

This person is always asking to borrow money, always manages to get free drinks from some poor soul and is always asking to dine somewhere cheap. But hey, no judging here. Sometimes you gotta travel on a budget, to make things work. You might see this person leave for a short duration of the trip and return with a scar where their kidney should be, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

The Functioning Alcoholic

Let’s face it, we’ve all been there. There’s no shame in wanting to party, even if it’s every night. Hey, we even condone it! (check out our wine festival) But you should probably accept the fact that others will refer to you as “that drunk guy” or “the guy who accidentally yacked on a child” or “the girl who did four tequila shots in a row, made out with the bouncer and then fell asleep in a pool of her own piss.”

Regardless of what people call you, you can always be relied on for a good time and you’ll most likely be the talking point of every conversation the next morning. You sleep all day and go hard all night. You can sleep when you’re dead.

The Ghost

Almost like a mythical creature, you’ll hardly ever see this person. Are they real? A ghost? A figment of our imagination? We’ll never know. They showed up to the first day and then disappeared for the rest of the trip. They are either doing their own thing, meeting up with friends or even sleeping at other places.

They show up to get the benefits of the tour and then leave to god knows where. Still friendly, but reserved, this person usually keeps to themselves and likes to skip the big and “basic” tourist destinations. Which is completely fine! No judgement here. Travelling with Stoke means you can make the trip the way you want it, with no restrictions! So, if you want to ghost us, go ahead. You do you, boo. 

The Mum

Where would we be without our classic mum friend? The one who peels your sorry ass from the sidewalk and puts you safely in a taxi. The one who holds your hair back when you’ve drunk too much wine, tells you not to go running with the bulls while intoxicated, which you’ll probably end up doing anyway. (And if you do, here’s a guide on do it while in a state) Are they a little smothering? Maybe, but do they stop you from killing yourself with our unlimited sangria? Absolutely. From all of us everywhere, we thank the mum friends for their service. The true heroes.

The Break Up Spree

Some people go on holiday to meet new people, to see new sights or to “find themselves.” And there are some people who want to book the next flight out of town, post a photo at the club in Ibiza, holding two cocktails to prove to their ex that they really are over them. And have sex with a complete stranger of course. Watch out for these ones, they’re wild and can go from dancing on the table to sobbing in the bathroom in 0.3 seconds.

The Lover Not a Fighter

It’s no secret that when you put a bunch of young people on the same tour together, there’s going to be some dirty hook-ups happening. And we mean a sloppy, drunken hook up squeezed in a single bed and a pounding headache the next morning. And your roommates will probably be giving you the stink eye the whole time you’re doing it.

Some people are here just to hook up and have a good ol’ raunchy time. And there’s nothing wrong with that my dudes. But remember, you can’t go wrong if you shield your dong. you don’t want to bring an unwanted souvenir home, and by souvenir we mean chlamydia.