La Tomatina Needs To Be On Your Bucket List
And here’s why.
- Hurling tomatoes is consequence free(ish) and extremely cathartic
Humans are bred for warfare. For conflict. For battle, for hurling projectiles at each other, be they rocks, spears, arrows, bullets or missiles. It’s evolution, baby. Fortunately, here in Europe and most of the west we’ve been essentially war free for a couple of generations now. This means we’re not killing and being killed. Hurray! But it also means that our battle-ready bodies and brains are going to waste on boring peacetime. Hu-boo!But never fear, because La Tomatina allows you to simulate warfare, albeit with salad fruit, against people you’ve really got no great beef with. You can just hurl a tomato, watch it smash into someone’s face, know that you haven’t harmed them, but take the satisfaction of being powerful, on target, and by all measurements a goddess of vegetable warfare.
If you’re feeling down, bored, underappreciated, it’s probably because your latent blood lust hasn’t been satiated in too long. It’s time to remedy the situation and arm yourself with some soft tomatoes and get all the pent up rage out of your system one face shot at a time.
Also, throwing tomatoes is really fun and never have you seen people in spirits as high as you will during the tomato fight. Hurl them, it ain’t gonna hurt nobody and it don’ cost a thang.
- You can visit wonderful Valencia
Oh Valencia, how we love your manifold charms. From your position as the second busiest port by cargo tonnage in the Western Mediterranean (what an accolade!), to your urban population making you Spain’s second largest city, there’s never a dull moment in the city of 100 bell towers.
While in Valencia you can try a real paella, as the locals are adamant that only Valencian paellas adhere to the true tradition of Spain’s most famous dish. You can also look at the financially disastrous, but aesthetically pleasing, City of Arts and Sciences, that lies in the city’s dry riverbed and looks like the bones of post apocalyptic robot fish dinosaurs from the near future.
Valencia also has a beautiful old bull ring, some intact ancient city gates that you can climb up, a wonderful and meandering old town, and less tomatoes than you’d expect (but exactly as many oranges as you thought it would – heaps!).
- And spend your days swimming in the Mediterranean Sea
Is there a better sea? The Bering is more dangerous, and the Red, Black and Dead are all equally as misleadingly named. The Caribbean is pretty nice, but they get a lot of hurricanes. The Med, however, is stunning, calm, luxurious, blue and full of history. The Med is where ridiculous lipped European heiresses grind their leathery skin against sharp haired football players. The Med is where Puff Daddy dresses all in white and raises his bottle of champagne towards the sky. Tell your friends at home that you’ve been bobbing about the Med and they’ll be azure with envy.
Our beach camp is located one street from the Med, so you can easily dress in your finest linen, grab a bottle of €1 sparkling wine and stumble down to live out your own Diddy fantasies, while our hotel is in central Valencia so you can take a short bus ride down and rub your fake titties against whomever you please.
- The pre-and-post Tomatina parties are off the charts
Because we’re Stoke Travel, so the main event isn’t nearly enough. The night before La Tom we’ll be throwing our Ketchup Foreplay Party, which is exactly what it sounds like (kinky/saucy). We’ll be throwing bands and DJs your way, Honey Hayze and Mesmeriser and Hiaground – all the faves from Stoked in the Park.
The night after the tomato fight is when we go full Med summer beach babes 2018 and hit up the official La Tomatina after-pool-party, which isn’t after pools, but is a pool party after party. This is a top notch chance to seal the deal with that pulpy little demon you’ve had your eyes on all day, whether they be staying with Stoke (smart! Legend!), or with some other mob (stupid!).
- Once it’s done you’re in striking distance of Ibiza
You haven’t partied enough? You’re crazy! But so are we, and that’s why we’re heading straight from Valencia to Ibiza for more, more and even more partying, Mediterranean floating, sunbathing, electronic music appreciating, asking strangers for drugs and quite simply being as hot as we possibly can be.
La Tomatina is the last Wednesday in August. We’ll be open a couple of days before and leaving a couple after, so you can really make a trip of it. Stoke are offering our beach camp, like we always do, and a hotel stay, which is something absolutely new. Put La Tom on your bucketlist now and do it with the true party professionals, the fanatics who put the festival first and then get all around said festivals. No need to bus about the place, come straight to Stoke and we’ll con you into a tiki bar and buy you a rum punch.
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