A Foolproof Guide To Smokebombing
Sometimes here in Stoke Towers we receive article ideas from our workmates. These are usually intended to prevent us writing about sex and drugs too much, and often feature requests to promote upcoming trips. Sometimes, however, we will receive article ideas that seek to enlighten our audience and enrich their lives, impartings of knowledge that will make your life, especially your travelling life, the best it can be.
This is one of those articles.
Following a particularly boozy brainstorming session, some Stokies approached us with an idea to write an article about smokebombing – about how to escape from a social situation without the stigma of being a wimp, and free of the peer pressure that might convince you to reluctantly stay on. Some of the Stokies seem to love a good smokebomb and consider it an essential item in their partying arsenal.
And so, here is the official Stoke Travel guide to smokebombing…
Don’t do it.
Don’t bloody smokebomb! What would you ever want to leave a party for? There aren’t enough parties in this increasingly straightlaced world, why would you ever want to cut short the few opportunities we have to really let our hair down?
Stoke Travel is the party company! We offer €10 unlimited beer and sangria at pretty much every destination we go to; we make a point of taking travellers to Europe’s biggest and best parties, in epic numbers.
When you smokebomb you not only miss out on good times, but you also leave your friends worried about your whereabouts and wellbeing (although to be fair said worry normally lasts mere moments). Smokebombing is the wimps’ way out of a social situation and when it occurs the entire herd is weakened.
You should never, ever smokebomb, but we’re not in the business of just dishing out directives, we like to back them up with tangible advice and alternatives. So instead of smokebombing you can:
- Try something new. If you’re not enjoying a party, maybe mix it up. Try some shots, or go and dance with the hot dude by the pool table. Maybe go in for a tactical spew, or get some fresh air and then ruin it with a cigarette. Sometimes parties get stale, but it’s not the party’s fault, it’s yours. Like we always say, If you can’t find the party, you must be the party.
- Tell your friends that you’re leaving. Say your goodbyes and listen if they want you to stay. Maybe they’ll have persuasive arguments and convince you to stay, if they don’t then you can just simply say, I’m going home. That way you won’t burden your friends with being worried about where you’ve gone to.
- Go to a new party. Maybe the one you’re at sucks – sometimes when people who aren’t Stoke Travel throw parties, they throw parties that suck. Now, life’s too short for sucky parties, ain’t nobody got time for any of that, so change that shit up and find something that’s popping, and take your pals with you, because it’s important that you show your pals a good time.
- Keep on partying forever! This is the best alternative to smokebombing, just never doing it and instead try to keep the party going for as long as possible. Party all night and be the person who tries to convince leavers that they should stay. When you love the party you’ll never want to smokebomb!
And there you have it, Stoke Travel’s foolproof guide to smokebombing. We’ve all got friends who selfishly pull the pin on a night out, so make sure that they see this guide, and then we can all party together, forever, they’re never gunna bring us down!
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